


Don't Keep Love Around

by howdoesonewrite



Series: Blue Neighbourhood - Coliver [1]
Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Anger, Angst, Hurt, M/M, Song fic, kinda sex but no description, this is not in chronological order
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-13 08:56:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5702554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howdoesonewrite/pseuds/howdoesonewrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Song fic based off of Troye Sivan's DKLA. It follows Connor and Oliver through their breakup.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Keep Love Around

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted to write this so here it is! 
> 
> This song is DKLA by Troye Sivan and can be listened to [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bunU3OwGTQ)

I.

Laying down next to him, Oliver felt so safe. The way Connor ran his fingers through his hair. The way it felt when his lips brushed against his neck. The way Oliver would whisper into his ear. How it felt when the soft heat of his mouth tinkled.

_ Wrapped my thoughts around your mind _

  
II.

When they made love, that was when Connor felt the best. How Oliver panted his name out. The way Oliver’s fingers felt when they scratched his back raw. He would bite down on his shoulder. Connor always finished first, then he eased Oliver into it. Made him release slowly, painfully, beautifully, so that the boy swore he saw stars.

_ Wrapped your body around mine _

 

III. 

Sometimes, he lays down and looks at his ceiling. He can remember the nights the dreams came. Oliver would hug him, gently running circles around his back. Connor could always recall the way his fingers tickled. They always felt so foreign on his flesh. Never had a lover caressed him to intimately. Never had anyone cared for him after sex. 

_ Play it back and press rewind _

_ To when you traced your fingers, drew my spine _

 

IV.

The first time Connor was thrown out, it was because he kissed another boy. Oliver found them in the kitchen and screamed. He nearly killed him right then. Oliver dragged them both outside and swore. He swore so loud and so much, the next door neighbor came outside. Embarrassed, he locked the door and didn’t let Connor back in for almost 2 weeks.

_ Lost it’s beat and so I find _

_ I starve a heart of touch and time _

 

V.

Connor broke his phone when it ended. He shattered Annalise’s vase. He smashed his car against a tree. He punched Wes in the nose. He got slapped by Frank. He went home and screamed. He drove around the city and screamed. He went into the forest and screamed. Nobody saw him for 3 days.

_ So what do I do now? _

_ I don’t keep love around _

 

VI.

In hindsight, they should have seen the end as soon as they started dating. No one saw them together. No one accepted them as a couple. They were already at odds. Fighting it was no use. It was actually a wonder they stayed together for so long. They were always so different, with such different pasts. While it was hard, they managed. But eventually, everything good must end.

_ We were a fire with no smoke _

 

VII.

Connor was always better than Oliver. Everyone told them, but even if they didn’t, Oliver could see. He could see how much cooler and prettier Connor was. How much more he was. Oliver sometimes craved his old relationships where the two were equal. Where one wasn’t better than the other. He longed for not having to compete just because he was average.

_ Rags to riches but I'm addicted to being broken _

 

VIII.

Oliver admired Connor with all his heart. The looks, the job, the everything. He was star struck whenever Conner walked into the room. His breath was constantly being taken away from him. Connor was enough to make Oliver's head spin. Sometimes, it became so much, he was suffocated under Connor.

_ You take my breath away, you know I'm bound to choke _

  
IX.

Connor didn’t sleep for days after the break up. He stayed up, counting his mistakes. He couldn’t sleep because he knew Oliver would be there in his dreams. Connor couldn’t handle the pain the ghost of Oliver would bring him. He couldn’t bear to see the sunken, tear streaked eyes again. He didn’t think he could handle it.

_ When I close my eyes. I still see your ghost _

 

X.

Oliver cried a lot. It was him who broke it off, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. His eyes stayed wet for days and weeks. His sheets were soaked and his hands were constantly clammy. When he finally stopped crying, he felt too numb to do much else. He stayed home for the rest of the month and into January, and didn’t wish anyone a Merry Christmas. It wasn’t exactly ‘Merry’ that year.

_ So what do I do now?  _

_ I don’t keep love around _

  
XI.

The men were willing to aid Connor’s recovery. He was a good looking man, no reason someone would pass up an opportunity to be fucked in the ass, especially since Connor only went to places where horny men hang around. He had to resist the urge to call out Oliver’s name when he came. To not break down in tears because he knew no one knew his body like Oliver. He wanted it all but couldn’t have it.

_ I don’t keep love around, love around _

 

XII.

Before they broke it off, Connor had been pretty absent. Coming home late, leaving as soon as he could. Not odd behavior when it came to Annalise Keating, but odd because Connor always texted or called. He always kept Oliver updated. They grew away from each other, and maybe it dulled the pain. Some people said it did. Oliver is convinced it hurt more.

_ “Distance makes the heart grow fonder’" _

_ Said by someone stronger than me _

 

XIII.

Oliver eventually took up jobs fixing computers around the city. He ran his own company and made ends meet. Connor was no longer welcome into the Keating household. He dropped out of law and took up art as his major. He wasn’t very good but he went to all his classes. He was a fine painter by the time the semester ended. His professor was always a bit concerned though, as his paintings tended to be dark.

_ So what do I do now? _

 

XIV.

They ran into each other at a coffee shop 7 months after the break. Oliver had circles under his eyes and hickey on his jaw from a man he met the previous night. Connor had on a pressed shirt and tie, he was going for a job interview. As soon as Oliver saw him, he ran out of his shop, his paid, untouched coffee sitting on the counter. Connor tried to run after him but stopped after a few steps. There was no reason to talk.

_ I don’t keep love around  _

 

XV

Connor didn’t hesitate the next day when Oliver walked into the coffee shop and asked for sex. He stood up and practically dragged Oliver to his new apartment. They fucked each other all day. Slept in between. And ordered a pizza sometime around 4. Oliver snuck out in the middle of the night. He left his shirt there.

_ I don’t keep, I don’t keep _

 

XVI.

The world stopped turning when Connor woke up alone. He could swear it. He knew that Oliver wouldn’t stay, but he still hoped. He packed his suitcase and called his landlord from a taxi. He called his university from the airport. He called his mom when he landed in LA. Connor was ready to start his new life.  


_ Love around _

**Author's Note:**

> If there's any mistakes, please let me know! I didn't have a beta 
> 
>  
> 
> [Follow me on tumblr!](http://howdoesonewrite-help.tumblr.com/)


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